Just a thought

Sometimes I wonder if I let “the one”, if that exists, slip away. I know the past is just that, and nothing more than a lesson at best, yet still I wonder from time to time. I know I have lost a friend or two, and changed the whole dynamic of some friendships. It also makes me look at each day with a different disposition than I used, having written this that is. Sometimes its fear, sometimes its respect sometimes its both. Not only in respct to the discovering of the person that “completes” me, because that may, honestly, never be a reality; everyone doesn’t get that, and I know that. Rather in regard, or learning in retrospect, to the decision and I mean each one that I make, each time I make one. My mind and body are beyond tired with the position I am in with life now but this must not be a hindurance(?); for what proves an adult? The muscle? The knowledge? A combination of both? Definitely not the lack of the two? Maybe its not even the ability to always make the right decision but the ability to simply place a thought and make a decision ….. Sorry if these ramblings fill your feed this is just where I am tonight. Fair evening to all, Chris